The difference between Unforgiveness and Hatred

One of the greatest challenges we face in the Church is blindness. I am of course referring to a spiritual rather than a physical blindness. I am speaking from experience because though I hate to admit it, I have spent much of my time “flying blind.”
This is a dangerous thing especially for leaders as evidenced by the words of Jesus when some of the Pharisees had a problem with Him.
Matthew 15: “12Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"
13He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. 14Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.”
Jesus was clearly saying that there were, and I believe there still are blind leaders in the religious systems of the world, even in the Church of the One and True Living God. He said they are blind guides and that both they and the ones following them will fall into a pit.
I don’t think I have to ask you if you would want to be on a bus or an airplane with a blind driver or pilot. I don’t think you would want a haircut from a blind barber, directions from a blind police officer or anything else of the sort. But would you want to attend a Church led by a blind Pastor or with a committee of blind Elders or Deacons? Think about it. Especially if you are a leader… And hold your breath because it’s not too late. The Word of God offers the solution.
1 John 2: “ 9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness (not being regenerated). 10Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness (stumbling); he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.”
I recommend that you go all the way from verse 1 to 11 in 1 John 2, but I will just use these 3 powerful verses in this posting. If you read the scripture, it is very clear that those who love their brothers are in the light and that those who hate their brothers are walking around in darkness.
It’s important to identify who John is talking about at this point. My opinion is that he is speaking primarily to believers, though this of course at some level would also differentiate those who are saved and those who are lost. But check out the final statement in verse 11. “…the darkness has blinded him.” We normally get blinded by light. We would not use the term that we were blinded by darkness in normal conversation. The picture that we get from this terminology is clear that those who hate their brothers are walking around in a lighted situation (the Church), undoubtedly surrounded by others who may or may not be blind because this is an individual condition. It doesn’t matter how bright a room is if you are blind. You will still stumble over the most well lit item. In other words, it’s not about the light in the room, it’s about the darkness affecting your eyes. It matters not whether it is day or night to a blind person.
Does this mean that you can be saved while hating your brother? Well now… that is a difficult question to answer and it gets down to technicalities regarding terminology and a study of the original language used to write this letter. Let me just offer a few thoughts and my humble yet studied opinion.
The Bible is clear that your sins will not be forgiven if you fail to forgive the sins of others against you. Plainly, if you don’t forgive others as Christ has forgiven you, then you have no part in Christ and you are on the express train headed for the eternal damnation station. So the question remains, can you have forgiven someone and still hate them, therefore rendering yourself saved but blind? I think so and I think it is more common then we could possibly comprehend. Forgiveness can be viewed as a more technical exercise even when genuine where as hatred is more emotional…
Now for the hopefully interesting example from my own life which I will boldly share with you. There was a guy many years ago who cost me much! Specifically, he cost me well over $100,000 because of a hostile business transaction (before I entered ministry or was even a dedicated believer in Christ). I hated him. I did not forgive him and I never intended to forgive him.
I went to Church one Sunday and Dr. Joe Fuiten at Cedar Park Church in Bothel, Washington delivered a message about forgiveness. I responded and went to the altar and I got right with God and forgave that man. I really did. I was free and heaven bound again!
A few months later, I was in a restaurant enjoying my meal when the culprit walked in the front door. My countenance fell. My wife asked me what was wrong. My ears turned red, my face was flushed and every muscle in my body tensed up. I still hated him even though I had forgiven him. He saw me and left immediately…
I spent a restless and sleepless night before my God considering the evil that was in my heart… asking him to remove it from me. I asked some wise and spiritually devout friends of mine how to achieve this and I made it my immediate goal in life. My finding was that I needed to pray for him. I was told (and the scriptures verify) that if I were to truly pray for him, that I would eventually replace the hatred with genuine love for him for it is impossible to pray for someone, filled with God and led by the Spirit who helps us to pray, without our hearts being changed. If genuinely and intentionally doing so.
I embarked on my journey of prayer. I even prayed for his wife… who I hated too. And his son… who I despised. I didn’t have to pray for his daughter because I liked her but I prayed for her anyway. I’m not going to lie to you. It was not easy. It was one of the most difficult purging processes of my life and it took I don’t know how long… probably the better part of 3 or 4 months. I kept it in writing in my Bible and I did it every day. I sometimes had to begin by playing worship music to soften my heart and get “in the mood.”
One day I woke up and I realized that I didn’t hate him (them) anymore. I still didn’t trust him and I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t today, but I loved them with a strange, surprising, supernatural love. Today when I think about them, I truly hope that they are doing well. Actually, by all appearances, it seems that they are doing well because I have checked on the internet.
But the best news? I received my sight! It was soon after that when I started to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and I gained new understanding when I would read God’s Word. It changed me!
As long as I keep purging myself from hating anybody, I won’t be a blind guide, leading people into a ditch of death but rather leading them on the narrow path in the light. As the great Charlie Peacock song chimes, “I want to be in the light as You are in the light, I want to shine like the stars in the heavens. Oh Lord be my light and be my salvation, cause all I want is to be in the light.” And we of course know that He indeed is the light .